Episode Transcription 

This is the Ultimate Advisor Podcast, the podcast for financial advisors who want to create a thriving, successful, and scalable practice. Each week we’ll uncover the ways that you can improve your referrals your team, your marketing, and your business operations, helping you to level up your advising practice, bring in more assets and create the advising practice that you’ve dreamed up, you’ll be joined by your hosts Bryan Sweet, who is moving fast towards a billion dollars in assets under management, Brittany Anderson, the driving force for advisors looking to hire improve their operations and company culture, and Draye Redfern who can help you systematize and automate your practices marketing to effortlessly attract new clients. So what do you say? Let’s jump into another amazing episode of the Ultimate Advisor Podcast. 

Brittany Anderson:

Welcome back to your ultimate advisor podcast. This is Brittany Anderson. I have with me Draye Redfern and Bryan Sweet. And we are, again, so absolutely excited to be talking about today’s topic and actually the next few weeks. So what is a common thread that we see with advisory practices, and with the most successful advisory practices, is they’re focused on one key thing. What is that one thing? It is in having, crafting, and controlling a positive mindset. So over the next few weeks, we’re going to talk to you about how you can put that into your business and how it’s more than just the happiness, the sunshine, the butterflies, the roses. It actually impacts your culture in a really, really good way when you’ve got the right mindset in place.

Brittany Anderson:

So today we are going to hone in on the power of decision. On how important it is to simply decide that you are going to maintain a positive mindset. And just like anything in your business, if you are listening to this with us today, you know that every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. To just give your best effort and to decide to take forward action.

Brittany Anderson:

You decided to take a chance when you decided to go into business, when you decided to become an advisor. Well, in order to build a powerful, positive, forward moving, forward momentum culture, you’ve got to master the power of mindset. So you get to choose. This is the beauty in all of this. You get to choose every single day how you show up. You get to choose how you show up for your clients, for your team members, for your family at home. You have the decision.

Brittany Anderson:

So this is where things can get a little bit foggy because just like any other human, we all have bad days. We all have times where we’re frustrated. Something doesn’t go as we would have hoped. Everything just kind of gets to that boiling point and you’re like, “Man, I can’t take another thing. How am I supposed to have a positive mindset when all this crud is going on around me?”

Brittany Anderson:

But there’s a saying out there, and I wish I had it in front of me right now to be exact, but it’s something along the lines of you can control how you respond and you react to everything. You can’t control how somebody else does. You can’t control how somebody else influences or how they come to you with something. But you can absolutely control how you’re going to maintain your mindset.

Brittany Anderson:

So Bryan, this is where I would love to bring you in because you have been, for lack of better terms, a junkie when it comes to absorbing material that is all about positive mindset, all about keeping that state of mind. You’ve had really powerful influences in your life that have just been testament to this whole concept. So I would love for you to come in and just talk about this and why this has been so important to you.

Bryan Sweet:

Well thanks Brittany. It’s great to be here and I just love this topic. It is very interesting. I’ll just give you a quick story and then a chat a little bit more on some of your comments. But one interesting thing, I do tend to be extremely positive and look for the green side of the grass, if you will. But just a really funny thing. My wife and her sister on a little Christmas trip not so long ago said, “Would you quit saying the word phenomenal so much?” So I’m not sure if that’s a good thing to be too positive or not. I’m actually kidding. But maybe you can take it too far.

Bryan Sweet:

But no, a positive mindset, it’s just so important for so many things. And as you alluded to, I am absolutely a junkie on all things positive. And it actually started when I was in high school. And I’m not really sure why I found this stuff fascinating. But at a young age, I started, reading and listening to Zig Ziglar tapes and reading Think and Grow Rich. And I do a lot of reading. And so I love to think about things like the power of your dreams. Matter of fact, there’s a really good book by a gentleman by the name of Peter Legge, L-E-G-G-E, on that topic. And, matter of fact, we’re such believers in just dreaming and possibility and those kinds of things that we created a unique process as you’ve heard us talk about called the dream architect.

Bryan Sweet:

But positivity is, especially if you compare it to the opposite, is so helpful. When you have a positive attitude or you’re hanging around somebody that’s positive, that’s absolutely contagious. People want to be around people like that. You attract people similar to that or you just attract people that find that fascinating and/or you repel people when you have a sad, can’t do kind of an attitude.

Bryan Sweet:

But it is something like taking a shower every day, you’ve got to do it every single day and have something that keeps you motivated. Because this is a really tough business. The world isn’t always very fair and things happen. People get sick, negative things occur. So you just need to know, well what is that constant reinforcement? Or what’s that thing that I can do every single day that will kickstart and help me keep that positive attitude that I know I should have, but from time to time things happen?

Bryan Sweet:

Now what I have done is I have a little daily ritual I go through. And I’m a big believer in quotes. And so one of the things that I do is I have a whole little folder of little quotes that, as one on my computer and also in my daily planner. And so if I find myself just a little, if you want to call it under the weather and not as positive and cheery as I know I should be, one of the things I do is simply read a couple of those quotes. And it certainly helps me realize that I need to get over it, get on, and change my thought process. Because it is so detrimental to carry that negativity with you for very, very long.

Bryan Sweet:

So I think those are just a couple of little things, creating some habits and being aware, and doing something every single day. Because the more you do it, the more contagious it is and the more people get attracted to it. So one of the reasons I like to hang out with you two is because you both are extremely positive. And maybe Mr. Positivity himself, I’m going to ask him to give a couple of comments, Mr. Draye Redfern.

Draye Redfern:

Thanks Bryan. I love this topic so much. Almost like you, Bryan, almost to a fault. That I think that there’s, in my life, there’s so many things that have occurred that it would be even hard to quantify or qualify it. That just by having a happiness mindset or a happiness demeanor, that people want to be around that. Like if you’re sort of a Debbie Downer and your energy is low and you’re not optimistic or outgoing, it’s really easy to pick up on that, even the body language. And people don’t usually want to be around that type of person.

Draye Redfern:

And so there’s, if we use that as like if you do this but nothing else, that’s a wonderful reason. But I believe that happiness more than anything is a decision. That you have to decide to actually be happy. Now barring any chemical imbalances or whatever else, I strongly believe happiness is a decision for the population.

Draye Redfern:

And the problem is, is that we see all too often, is if one negative thing happens, friends of mine, family, they slip into this like negative spiral. And it’s hard to reverse that the further down you go. And so I always have this mindset of I never want to go too far out of my happiness zone. And that does a couple things. It keeps me more active as far as like monitoring my mindset and monitoring my output and monitoring how I act or am around other people, and the vibes or the energy that I’m giving off. But also there’s ways that, if you notice like maybe you’re just having a down day or things haven’t actually gone right. There’s a couple of easy things that you could do.

Draye Redfern:

And the first thing is just put your shoulders back. I mean I’ve been to almost every Tony Robbins seminar there is, he calls it the Two Millimeter Rule. Other people call it the Shoulder Rule, where basically if you were to draw a, take a string from the center of your sternum, and you were to pull that up, straight up. Basically what that would do is it would force your shoulders back, it would force your posture to straighten up. And that in and of itself can do a lot of things subconsciously to actually raise your energy levels.

Draye Redfern:

On top of that, if you were to do the Two Millimeter Rule or the shoulder rule, actually go outside and get some vitamin D and some sunlight. Because if you’re cramped in an office all day long, it’s really easy to sort of just be confined. And so I make breaks throughout the day, that I actually go on a walk three to four times a day. Not every day, but most days I try to make it happen, just to get out and actually get some movement, too. Because movement is also a wonderful thing that can help you make the decision much more concrete.

Draye Redfern:

And I can’t remember whether it was Edison or somebody else that basically said that meditation, or walking is the best form of meditation. And the reason why is because when you walk, it frees up just enough space in your subconscious that you’re not necessarily… You’re focusing on not bumping into anything or not walking into anything. And it frees up space in your subconscious to actually think and focus on the happiness you want to bring in, or focus on whatever it is you want to focus on. It’s just sort of a wonderful way to continue to make happiness a decision.

Draye Redfern:

But the other side of that, too, is that psychologically, there’s a little thing in the back of your brain called the RAS, or the reticular activating system. And so if you are in a room right now, this is like a perfect example of it. And you’ve also probably heard another example. But if you were in a room right now and you were told to only focus on all of the blue objects. So everything that’s blue in your environment right now. Maybe it’s a poster on the wall, maybe it’s a coffee cup, maybe it’s a water bottle, maybe it’s a picture, whatever it is. And then you were to stop.

Draye Redfern:

And if I were to ask you how many red things there are, you wouldn’t be able to answer usually. Because we tend to focus on the things that we want to attract. And so if I told you to go focus on all the blue objects, you’re immediately sort of outlaying or not focusing on other items that may be there.

Draye Redfern:

And so from that standpoint, that’s where, an example I use that happiness really is a decision, is that I choose to focus on that red object or that blue object or whatever you want to classify happiness as for me in my life. And so I think those are things that I actively practice on a daily basis. I strongly, strongly believe that happiness is a decision and I don’t think it’s really too late for anybody.

Draye Redfern:

I think some people have been maybe in a negative rut for years. Maybe it could have been a divorce or negative mindset or somebody passing. And all of these things can have strong effects on somebody. But I think regardless of where you’re at in your life, you could always sort of… I think any one of us could continue working on this and improve it. And I think that, Brittany, there’s definitely some things I think you have around that, around the idea of deciding, especially if you’ve been entrenched in something for a little while.

Brittany Anderson:

Yeah. So I’m glad you brought up the bad things that happened, Draye, because it’s something that I want to kind of bring full circle here is that we’re not going woo-woo with this per se. We’re not saying regardless of what happens, just always have a smile on your face. Because the bottom line is that bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people.

Brittany Anderson:

So when you’re looking at this and you’re looking the whole concept of deciding to have a positive mindset, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have other emotion. That you can’t be sad when something sad happens. That you can’t be mad when something happens that you are not happy about, to be obvious. So when you look at this, it’s not about deciding to just chase butterflies and just see the rainbows at the end of the tunnel. It’s just about deciding that you are going to, regardless of what happens, you’re going to be able to pull out of it.

Brittany Anderson:

You see that there’s possibility on the other end. You see that there’s something that you are going to be able to go to that is not going to be in that bad space that you’re in. So again, if you’re sad, be sad, if you’re mad, be mad, but come out of it. Don’t live there. Don’t dwell there. Don’t get stuck there. Because that’s when all of a sudden that negative mindset creeps in.

Brittany Anderson:

Because it’s like one bad thing all of a sudden turns into a bad day, which turns into a bad week, which turns into a bad life, and now you’re mad at everybody and where are you going to go with this? So I think that’s just something really important to understand as we’re talking about this.

Brittany Anderson:

The other thing, too, is for many of you, and Bryan and I have had these conversations before, that when you have built a business, when you’ve built a business from the ground up, that thing is your baby. And coming from a mother of three, I will say that if anything were to threaten my baby, that I would go into mama bear mode. That would make me really upset. And it’s the same thing for your business. If something is a potential threat to your business, to the one thing that you have devoted your life to. That, again, it’s okay to feel that and it’s okay to be mad in the moment, to be upset in the moment, to be frustrated in the moment.

Brittany Anderson:

But again, it’s like Bryan alluded to, sometimes you just need that little trigger to help you snap out of it and to say, “Okay, that happened. I’m not happy it happened, but I’m going to learn from it. I’m going to grow from it. And I’m going to keep pushing forward,” because that is a true champ. That’s somebody that has decided that they’re never going to let the negative stuff control them because they’ve made the conscious decision to have a positive mindset.

Brittany Anderson:

So it’s so important to understand the difference here. It’s understand that it’s not woo-woo. It’s not just about painting a smile on. It’s about you’re real. You’re human. You can feel the emotion. Just don’t get stuck in the bad stuff. So I highly recommend, it’s not necessarily on the topic of mindset, but there’s a book called The Power of Decision. It’s by Raymond Charles Barker. And it’s just an exceptional book that really helps you understand how you can overcome any sort of indecision. Now, why I think this ties into today’s topic is because life is really not that complicated. But we make it that way.

Brittany Anderson:

Life really boils down to simply making decisions. And when you look at the impact on your business, if you are indecisive when it comes to your business, if you’re indecisive when it comes to team members, whether that’s filling seats, making changes, moving somebody through a career path, whatever that is, that can hurt your business in the long run. So I think that’s just a really powerful book. It ties into just the whole concept of, “Hey, I’m going to decide to be this way and I’m going to decide that nothing is going to detract me from what I really, really want in my business, including myself.” Because we are our own worst enemy. So don’t let yourself get in the way. And one way to do that is to just consistently have that positive, that I will overcome anything that comes my way sort of mindset to keep you trucking through.

Brittany Anderson:

And the last thing that I wanted to comment on here before we kind of round out with some key action items is having an accountability partner in that. So Bryan and I, for example, and Draye and I have done this, too. But Bryan and I, for example, like if one of us is having a bad day, if I notice that Bryan’s frustrated or he’s just kind of edgy, I’ll be like, “Hey, what’s going on today? Talk to me about this. What’s up?” So then he knows, “Okay, all right, we’re going to talk about this, we’re going to get through, we’re going to power through, and I know that I’m going to snap out of it by the end of this.”

Brittany Anderson:

So it’s just having that person that you know that you can have those honest conversations with, that they’re going to recognize when something’s maybe not quite right, and then they can help you kind of move forward. So that’s the power of having somebody on your team that you can really lean on for that. Because again, we’re human. We’re not perfect, we all get mad. We all have bad days, we all have days where we just can’t take it anymore. But having that person there for you to really help you pull through and to control that mindset, to maintain that mindset, is just so powerful and so, so important. So before I round out with a few takeaways for our audience to be able to act on immediately, Bryan, Draye, is there anything else that you would want to comment on?

Bryan Sweet:

I just want to reiterate what you just said, Brittany. The accountability partner, it is extremely helpful. I try to be pretty optimistic all the time, but it does happen. And Brittany and I happen to get together an awful lot. And so having somebody like that is really good. Because sometimes you’re just going through it. You don’t see the forest through the trees. And what Brittany’s talking about makes me think of a quote from Wayne Dyer that said, “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.”

Bryan Sweet:

And so just having that accountability partner kind of forces you to maybe see that slightly different. And then all of a sudden what you thought was bad isn’t bad, and you’re back on on course. So thanks for adding that to the conversation, Brittany.

Brittany Anderson:

Absolutely. So to round out today, the top three things that we would recommend that you take and you implement, focus on immediately. Number one being, and I wish I could have a drum roll sound right now, but the number one thing is to simply decide. Simply make the decision that you’re not going to be that negative person anymore, or you’re not going to let negative thoughts control you, or you’re not going to live in those bad moments. You’re going to come out of them and you’re going to come out of them with that attitude and that mentality of, “Hey, we’re going to push forward. We’re learning from this. I’m glad this happened because if it didn’t, I wouldn’t have learned how to avoid it in the future.” So just making that decision that you are going to control your mindset. That is an excellent first step.

Brittany Anderson:

And as Bryan and I were talking about, to go along with that, get an accountability partner. We all need a boost sometimes. We all need somebody to help us stay in our lane. The lane that we’ve committed to, the lane that we’ve spoken to. So getting that person to help you is absolutely essential.

Brittany Anderson:

Number two is, again, to not get stuck. That’s where we see the biggest issue. So in dealing with so many different advisory practices, we do exercises like this at our mastermind where it’s when something happens, when something bad happens, how do you actually come out of that and make it into a really positive thing? Because again, we are not living above the clouds here. We know that bad stuff happens. But how do you not sit in it? Because when we sit in it, that’s when things go south.

Brittany Anderson:

That’s your team starts getting nervous. That’s when things start falling apart even more. Because you’ve got this tunnel vision on this one thing that’s got you so mad you can’t see the rest of the stuff. So it’s like Bryan’s comment on not seeing the forest through the trees. You don’t want that to happen. So it’s so important to just not get stuck in those negative moments.

Brittany Anderson:

And third is having some sort of a ritual. So Bryan mentioned his morning ritual where he has a few key things that he does where he focuses on gratitude, he really reads positive quotes. Draye mentioned about taking a walk, getting outside, breathing for a minute. There’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes, and even if it’s just a quick walk around the block, to just get your head straight, to get that clarity again. Your body control, your posture, your whatever it is. Having some sort of a ritual that fits you, that you can follow, that you know, when, “Hey, my mindset’s slipping, I’m not feeling like myself, I’m not focusing on the positive like I have decided to,” then those are the things that you put into place to help you maintain that mindset.

Brittany Anderson:

So those are the few key things that we recommend that you implement immediately to really create that consistency in positive mindset. So that rounds out today’s episode of the Ultimate Advisor Podcast. As always, we’ll catch you back here next week.

Brittany Anderson:

Hey there, Brittany Anderson here. If you are loving what you’re hearing on our Ultimate Advisor Podcast, don’t keep us a secret. Share us with other advisors that you think would benefit from the messages that you are hearing. The easiest way to do that is just simply send them to ultimateadvisorpodcast.com. And if you want to learn a few other ways that we could potentially serve you as an advisor, go check out ultimateadvisormastermind.com. As always, we are so happy to have you here with us as part of the Ultimate Advisor community, and we look forward to a continued relationship.